today i spoke to a wall.

a wall who used to speak back.
who used to show compassion.
who used to say sweet things.
who i knew, without a doubt in my mind, loved me.
loved me more than anything and thought i was the one.

i have the letters.
i have the cards.
i have the memories.
thats all i have left.

a wall whos full of anger.
who wont look past it and see that im drifting away.
i told you i was leaving.
im telling you its hard to hold on.
and you speak to me the way you do.
you make me feel like im holding onto you with knuckles white, for no reason at all.


youre right.
maybe it is a choice i am making.
and that doesnt concern you?
instead you get mad.
and yell.
and say things to me to break me down.


i am already far from broken.
theres no word for what i feel about you.
about the "us" that once was.


you can be angry.
you can be anything you want to be.
its not my place anymore to tell you how to act.
im just a girl to you now.
someone who makes you nothing but angry.

i am just a girl now to you.
one who you used to do everything for.
who knew you loved her without you ever having to try.

this girl needs more from you  because of all thats happened.
of all thats going on.

if you dont want it.
if you cant do it.
then dont.
tell me.
because right now i feel like the wall will be a wall forever.
i dont think ill ever get you back.


and i think that all you want is the anger.
"remember me for the times i ruined you, not the times i made you smile"

thats what weve been reduced to.
i havent forgotten.
i never will.


i never wanted to be the one who let go first.
but here i am.

i dont feel like theres anything left for me to hold onto.
an angry shell of a man who loved me at one time is all i see.


i cant blame you.
but i cant support someone who cant even make me feel worth anything.

you can have your anger, but you cant have me too.


youre mad right now.
you should be sad like i am.

but its not my place to say.

im just a girl to you now.
that you used to want and used to love with all you have,


a girl whos walking away and doesnt want to.

but thats all thats left.



ill never forget.
you can be angry.

i cant blame you.

you cant blame me for the choice ive made.
not that it matters to you anymore.

i wish i knew you.
i wish things never changed.


i wish i mattered to you.

but i dont.


and i dont think i ever will again.



you can be angry.
but you lost me there.
and i dont think it matters,
and i dont think you care.




i wish you cared.
i wish you loved.
i wish you understood.
but you dont want to.


eyes closed wont make it go away





i m gone.
i love you.
i wish you cared enough to know.