Looking at 2011 thus far,

things havent been this hard in quite some time.
i wont go into detail, you were there too... in a way.
its weird that i only feel the distance when i am not around people.
like laying on the couch at night.
or eating lunch alone in my car.



but its hard.
and i am sorry if i dont take it as well as i should.
and im sorry if i take it out on you.
i am going to seek help for this issue that i may have, and i hope it betters me.
and us.


i dont want to grow up and end up like my mom.
have my kids scared of me.
i dont want a future like my moms.


my dad got drunk last night and said it was a waste of a perfectly 'genius' brain for me to have never gone to school.
i dont know about that.... but i miss learning.
and i think my mind has in fact lost some knowledge along the way.


lost of things have been lost on this road.
ive been out of school for 4 years.
youre back in.
i am so very proud of you....


i am proud of you even if you have a bright future without me in it.
i am proud of you for all you have ever done.
i love you.